Every bride needs help on how to deal with disgruntled bridesmaids. Here’s my advice for keeping things on the up and up. In today’s post I will be discussing some common problems every bride faces with her bridesmaids, and reasonable solutions to please both parties.
When choosing your bridesmaids, you choose those nearest and dearest to you, friends that would support you, and help lift you up when the stress of planning brings you down. (for more help with choosing your bridal party click here). As a bride you may often feel that a particular bridesmaid is being difficult, or not supportive enough. Bridesmaids duties are to fully assist the bride during the planning process. They’re supposed to be there for you through gown fittings, crazy in-laws, and crazier grooms to be. But sometimes, even your best support systems can buckle under the strain. From bridesmaid dress distress to gripes about expenses, keeping a bridal party happy can be as demanding as the wedding planning itself. Every bride has that moment were she needs to manage blasts from her bemoaning bridesmaids. Below are some of the most common bridesmaid troubles and tips for avoiding bridal party beefs.
#1 When a Bridesmaid says “No” to a dress you love:
You chose your bridal party because they will be honest with you, Sometimes the truth isn’t what you as a bride want to hear. According to them, the “perfect” bridesmaid dress is not-so-perfect, in fact, they hate it.
Try to compromise, if it’s not to late, sure it’s your wedding, but it’s their self-esteem, they will have to wear the dress throughout the event, they must feel as comfortable as yourself. Try picking the colour of the dress, and let them choose the style. You may also opt for same colour different design dresses, there is no rule that the dresses need to be the same. That said, keep in mind that these things are ultimately your decision. If a bridesmaid is being unreasonable, let her know how important your vision is and that you will work together to find a dress that will make you both happy.
Your bridesmaids need to consider that this is your special day, and the friendship between both of you is worth more than arguing over a dress style/design.
#2 Lack of support/communication:
It’s very important you keep your bridesmaids updated with the planning process, regular meetings can help address and discuss plans further. However, occasionally bridesmaids may forget that a bride needs support in return.
The job of a good bridesmaid is identical to that of a good friend. She should be there with encouragement, comfort, emotional support, and, at this stage of your life, a willingness to tie ribbons and help with seating charts. If you have a bridesmaid that is acting up, the best way to address the issue is to speak to them however way you find convenient for yourself. If they are truly considerate and have your feelings best at heart, they will take it upon themselves to discuss matters further and compromise to make you the bride happy and comfortable on your special day.
#3 Cut them loose
There is only so much a bride can do, if matters persist, and you are truly unhappy with your choice, and find no compromise from the other end, my only advise would be to ask a bummer bridesmaid to step down, sooner rather than later. As a future bride you can’t be adding stress or worry on your agenda. Letting loose of the negativity is often the best choice you can make. It’s never easy, but sometimes when all else fails or when something explosive has happened, There really is no right way to do this. Good friends will understand the decisions you have to make. People who’ve turned out not to be such good friends are better weeded out, anyway. Just remember the most important thing is to be honest, no matter what.
#4 You hear grumbles about expenses:
Weddings can be costly, if you’re having an overseas wedding, as a bride you must take into consideration the cost on your bridesmaids.
Be considerate. It’s likely that your maids will only wear this dress for a few hours, so don’t make them exceed the budget. Choose a dress that is reasonably priced, have them tell you what reasonable is, or work together with your party to find a dress that’s both within their style and budget. Brides are not required to pay for the dresses, but if you want to spring for something pricey, consider adding it on to your own budget or paying for half. Try to mitigate expenses elsewhere too, if they’re buying the dresses, don’t make them buy jewelry and shoes too.
#5 Not all bridesmaids are just girls:
You have a male best friend that you would like apart of your bridal party, thats totally ok, go right ahead. The days of the all-female bridal party are over. Your guy can either match the groomsmen, or he can match your girls by wearing a tie or other accessory that incorporates the color of their dresses.
#6 That awkward moment:
Sometimes there are certain pressures and responsibilities that brides have to make, in this occasion it is asking people to be in your bridal party who you would just rather not ask, a family member from his side, or a friend who had you in her wedding.
No one can force you to include these people in your party, but be aware of the hurt feelings that may result if you decide against it, and be prepared to deal with them, especially if the person excluded is family. Mitigate hurt feelings by coming up with ways to keep people involved without asking them to be in the bridal party. For members of his family (yes, even female ones) ask them to be part of the groom’s party, for old friends who just don’t make the cut, have them do a ceremony reading, or get them involved by asking them to help you into your dress etc.